Remember when Jeff Foxworthy used to do those “You might be a redneck” jokes? Those weren’t funny.

Although no one on the BCU staff knows “how to make roadkill stew,” we do know the signs that you might be whipped. Here are our top 5 favorites.

1) If she knows all your passwords…

When I was a kid and I first got my own computer, my parents knew all my passwords to make sure I wasn’t getting into any shenanigans online. Then I turned 13, and the word “privacy” entered my vocabulary. That was the last time it was okay for anyone to you know your password. If you let her read your e-mails, you are letting her be your mom. Not okay.

2) If you ask permission to go out with the guys…

If she assumes you’re going boob-hunting every time you and your buddies want to hang out, she’s got some insecurity issues that she needs to work out… alone. She’s your girlfriend, not your warden, and you don’t have to ask permission to leave the house.

3) If you only hang out with her friends…

Remember when you had separate friend groups? You would meet up with her after hanging with your friends? Now all you do is hang out with other couples, sitting at someone’s house drinking wine and watching Couple’s Retreat. You sir, are whipped.

4)If you always worry she’s going to get mad…

You’re at the store, practically drooling over a new LCD big screen. You just got a raise and want to drop the big bucks, but you’re worried that your sleeping dragon of a girlfriend might not approve, so you call to ask. Making decisions on your own is part of being a grown up, so do it! (Plus, if she’s not stoked on a nice new TV, she’s got issues anyway)

5) If she uses sex as a bargaining tool…

90% of the time she wears sweatpants and a grease-stained college t-shirt to bed, and the only time you ever see her look sexy anymore is when she’s asking you to buy her a ridiculously overpriced diamond necklace. Sex is a key part of any relationship, and if the only time you get it is after a business transaction, you need to get out, now.