WTFriday: Some Dude Branded His Initials On Girlfriend’s Crotch
Sometimes you meet your friend’s girlfriend or boyfriend or booty call and think, “damn, that is the whole package!” Maybe she’s super funny on top of being hot, or he knows how to cook a five-star dinner and ALSO has amazing skills in the sack. In this case, you might tell that person, “YOU GOTTA LOCK THAT DOWN,” meaning you should make them your exclusive significant other or else someone is gonna come along and swoop them up!
It seems as though Christopher Lynn Jackson of Arizona misheard this phrase, and thought people were saying “you gotta BRAND THAT, LIKE A FARM ANIMAL,” because he’s now in jail for literally drugging his girlfriend and then branding her vajayjay region with a branding device because “her vagina was his.”
WHAT. THE. F*CK.
Via Gawker:
“The unidentified woman told authorities that Jackson took her to a baseball game and then asked her to go dancing with him.
When the victim refused, saying she was too tired, Jackson offered her “energy pills” to perk up.
But the pills seemed to have the opposite effect, and the woman soon found herself passing out.
When she awoke, she felt severe pain and saw Jackson with branding equipment and a butane torch.
She looked down to find the letters “C” and “J” branded into her private parts.”
First lesson, ladies – do NOT ever take ANY pills from ANY man EVER. Go to the store and get your own Ibuprofen, cause apparently you never know if he’s trying to knock you out and put a butane heated metal brand on your lady bits.
And lesson two, guys – NO. Just NO.
