Today is apparently “Things No One Ever Asked For Day,” because on top of hearing about the world’s oldest and most expensive cocktail, I just learned that Glenn Beck, noted asshat and SNL gold mine, has decided to design his own line of jeans.

No. Stop laughing. STOP! This isn’t a joke!! No seriously, I am not joking:

So, SURE, I agree. Making jeans here, having a product that creates jobs and inspires economic growth is a good idea. But to think that humans would ever want to buy clothing from THIS GUY is sorely mistaken. Although, I suppose I’m not exactly the target demographic. I bet my senile, vaguely-racist neighbor would just die for a pair of 1791s.

What do you think? Would you wear Glenn Beck’s jeans?