You know when you sometimes get like, painful laughs? Where you are laughing so hard that you feel like you honestly might pass out from lack of oxygen or vomit or pee your pants? Those are the kinds of laughs you remember forever, despite the somewhat terrifying fear that you might die from laughter. I imagine that when ohio resident Stephanie Robinette drunkenly whipped her breast out and shot cops with her breast milk after they responded to a call about domestic abuse.

According to Newser, Mrs. Robinette and her husband got into an intoxicated argument at a wedding they were attending (reason #49,005 not to get married: THIS might happen at your wedding), and after she hit him multiple times, she locked herself in the car as police were called. She refused to get out of the vehicle and shouted profanities at the cops, before proceeding to “remove her right breast from her dress and spraying deputies and the vehicle with her breast milk.”

Just imagine for a moment that you and a friend were attending a wedding and had a few cocktails and then ended the night witnessing THAT scene. I imagine that you’d laugh so hard you might have champagne come out your nose at least. That story right there is a GOLD MINE.