You may have seen the hashtag #WestElmCaleb trending on social media and thought, oh no, what did Caleb do??? It turns out though, he was a pretty normal guy who may have made some bad choices in dating and is getting FLAMED for it all over the web. Via NBC News:

Through social media, a group of women who didn’t previously know one another discovered that they may all have been dating the same man. Their shared anecdotes quickly went viral, as did the very real person the internet identified as the common denominator: a New York furniture designer named Caleb who works at West Elm. The tale of a serial dater who allegedly “love bombed” women, sent unsolicited intimate pics and then would “ghost” dates without explanation took over TikTok.

Whisper networks of women are ubiquitous. In the thick of the Me Too movement, as related to tales of repeated sexual assault by powerful men, there was a great deal of discussion about both these networks’ power and failures. Quiet warnings help many people but exclude others, particularly those who are vulnerable and at the fringes of the networks.

The real Caleb was also swiftly doxxed, in the sense that his full name and photo have been plastered across the media sphere, and it’s likely that, based on online comments, there were plenty of phone calls to West Elm (that don’t appear to have resulted in his losing his job). This serves as an example of how the internet scales punishment, as well, a contrast to when a whisper network might have resulted in a name’s being scribbled on a bathroom wall.

Should a guy who does what so many men (and women) do today have his job threatened for fairly innocent, not criminal activity? We don’t think so! But we also see how women may want to shield others from the pain and shame that comes from being love-bombed then ghosted. So what’s the solution? We’re not sure. What do you think?