I am, as you know, completely unqualified to discuss anything having to do with Lost, the monumental ABC show that ended this… what… Sunday? I don’t even know. However, I do enjoy wondering what stars of highly-popular and cult-followed programs will do once they move on. Will they go the Danica McKeller of The Wonder Years route and write a book about math? Will they go all Corey Haim on the world and fall into a world of drugs? Will they create their own spinoff a la “Frasier”? Here are a few of the BCU staff’s ideas for the cast of Lost.

1. Dominic Monahan

• Write and star in Lord of the Rings 4: Attack of the Hobbits
• Actually turn into a Hobbit, because he really looks like a Hobbit
• Play a gerbil, hamster, or meer kat in a PBS children’s show. Because he looks like a Hobbit.
• Create a talk show in which he explains how to date women who are obviously WAY out of your league.

2. Evangeline Lilly

• Baywatch: The Movie
• Super Sexy CPR: Celebrity Edition
• Dancing Naked With the Stars
• Anything, really, where she doesn’t have to put clothes on.

3. Jorge Garcia

• Grimace in the live action McDonald’s movie
• The Kool Aid Man in Attack of the Tropical Punch!
• Michael Moore’s stunt double

4. Terry O’Quinn

• Creed’s long lost twin brother in The Office
• Hung upside down from club ceiling as a Disco Ball
• Creepy old man at bus stop who tells you the world is ending

5. Maggie Grace

• Annoying blonde girl in a teen movie
• First-to-be-killed-off  blonde girl in a horror movie
• Irritating as hell blonde girl in a Lifetime Original Movie

Whichever route you choose, guys, we wish you luck. We’re sure you won’t be type cast as your respective characters forever and ever. Probably.