Alright ladies, we forgive you for ignoring your better judgement (and the e-card below) and letting some lame-ass guy take you out on a cheesy, conventional Valentine’s date. Don’t worry, we give the date 30 minutes before you wish you’d stayed home, clicked your way to OBC, and found a sexy booty call. Meanwhile, check out our handy guide to let you know what his Valentine’s Day gift really means.

1) The Practical Gift

You thought it meant: “Because we’ve only known each other a short time, I didn’t want to freak you out with something over-the-top. So I remembered you needed this, and I got it. I’m a good listener.”

What it really meant: “My cousin Gary got this for me last Christmas and I happened to leave it in its original packaging. Also I’m broke, and also you haven’t let me get to third base yet. Deal with it.”

2) The Expensive Gift

You thought it meant: “You mean so much to me that I haven’t bought anything for myself in the past two months just so I could afford this. I love you, baby, and I hope this diamond ring shows you just a fraction of how I feel.”

What it really means: “Remember that time when I wanted to do that thing, and you wouldn’t let me? Guess what. It’s happening. Tonight.”

3) The Homemade Gift

You thought it meant: “There isn’t enough money in the world to show you how much I love you. Instead, accept this jar of handwritten notes exalting every trait about you I love.”

What it really means: “Mentally, I’ve progressed to about age 6. Also, that’s the same gift I gave my mom.”

Now that you’ve got the truth, girls, get over to OBC and send this sexy e-card to someone who will make you forget all about that crummy gift!

Photos courtesy of HolyTaco