Coco can balance a water bottle on her booty. She should be our new mascot. [Jezebel]

It was apparently break up week in Celebrity land.[DatePro]

Ashton Kutcher is replacing Charlie Sheen and Charlie Sheen is reacting… predictably. [TheSuperficial]

The Jersey Shore went to Italy. Sorry, Italy. [Dlisted]

Jessica Beal and Bradley Cooper, huh? INTERESTING. [Celebslam]

Apparently Britney Spears is “mentally incapable” of testifying in court. But sure, but her on stage in stilettos. That’s fine. [TheBlemish]

Matthew Perry went back to rehab. Poor Chandler [People]

Mariah Carey played a live recording of herself as her babies were born because that is a normal thing that people do and not crazy or anything. [Us Magazine]