I wonder what it’s like to wake up in Green Bay or Pittsburgh today. It’s Friday, and you’re going to work, and you have to behave like an adult, but also IT’S MFing SUPER BOWL WEEKEND, EVERYONE! I bet that’s how it is in offices all over those two cities. A bunch of decoy Excel sheets hiding tabs upon tabs of Super Bowl predictions and e-mail arguments about whose quarterback is going to rape who elses tight end.

In San Diego, on the other hand, we’re like “eh,” and also “I don’t even know where Green Bay is, is that in Alaska” and stuff like that, but we’re still excited because FOOTBALL and BEER and BETS YOU CAN’T AFFORD!

So, moving on, for all my east coasters whose only escape from the Siberian blizzard deathscape you live in is three hours of men running around in tights, I give you, BCU’s Weekend To Dos, SUPER BOWL EDITION, DUH.

1) Stay home and physically and mentally prepare for Sunday

You need to stay out of trouble for the next two days to avoid the Sunday morning hangover AND those poorly conceived drunken bets we tend to throw out after a few shots. No, sir, the score is not going to be 100 to zero. Don’t make that bet. Also no, The Black Eyed Peas will not bring out special guest Patrick Swayze. Be honest with yourself. Stay home, maybe hit the gym a couple times to preemptively atone for what your body will go through on Sunday, and keep your mind clear. This is a big day.

2) Seek out the best after-game locales

If you are pulling out all the stops this Sunday and don’t mind hobbling into the office with a killer headache on Monday, prepare for an after-party. If you are ACTUALLY a fan of one of these two teams, you’ll probably know where to go after the game ends (win: anywhere on Earth because all is right with the world, loss: your bathroom floor in a hot shower trying melt the pain in your heart). But if you aren’t a fan of either team, you’ll want to make your way to the supporting bar for whichever team won- it is guaranteed to be a great time. Check local Yelp! message boards for the 411 on the spot to be after the game.

3) Throw your own official BCU “Could Be the Last  Super Bowl Party Ever” Party and DOCUMENT IT!

Follow these awesome tips to throwing a sweet Super Bowl party, and make sure someone with a camera documents every moment. As you may have heard, the NFL is currently in some sort of budget debate that could potentially mean we have no football season next year. Now personally, I think that’s hilarious. Considering I can’t get a hotdog and a beer for less than my RENT at a football game, I’m pretty sure they won’t risk losing that kind of income, but it’s crazy to imagine this could be the last Super Bowl.

So remember, from the opening kick-off tequila shot to the halftime dance party to the following downward spiral into a front yard brawl, we want to see it all (especially that last part, because you know how we. Love. Public. Brawls). So cue up that camera, open up a beer Sunday morning, and celebrate the Super Bowl like it’s the last one you’ll ever see (because it might be) (but it probably won’t) (BUT WHAT IT IF?!)

HAPPY SUPER BOWL, WEEKEND WARRIORS!