I’m sure I don’t need to tell you, but there are 3 reasons to believe that March might actually be the best month of all time: Mardi Gras, St. Patrick’s Day, and March Madness. Starting Monday, you could probably find something totally awesome to do every night of the week, whether it’s watching basketball or flashing your boobs or taking Jameson shots. However, this is the weekend BEFORE all those things start, so we must take the time to prepare for each and every one of them. Let’s begin.

To prepare for:

1) Mardi Gras

This one is SERIOUSLY just around the corner, on Tuesday. It’s the ultimate day of debauchery and overindulgence, but you should still have a certain plan for the evening. For example, San Diego has a huge block party every year with a parade and everything, and everyone gets rowdy within the walled off areas, making all on the outside phenomenally jealous. At a party where everyone will be partying their faces off, you’ll want to make your mark, and not with the boring old beads and a purple mask business. Stock up on body paint from a local costume store and paint a giant fleur de lis on your stomach or (if it’s way too freezing to go shirtless) face. If you can find a purple suit at a thrift store (which is where all purple suits go to die), put that thing on, and if you can find some peacock feathers (they’re usually in the craft section of stores like Michael’s or Joanne’s), make a ridiculous headdress. Basically what I’m saying is make yourself a complete eyesore. Try and purchase all your items this weekend as early as possible, because Monday it’s going to be impossible to find anything except a couple broken strands of beads and that dumb purple mask. And like I said earlier, that ain’t gonna cut it this year, pal.

2) March Madness

Selection Sunday is the thirteenth, so make sure you have your house in order. If you’ve got enough buddies for it, set up a March Madness pool. There are directions here, but make sure you do some research so you can be nice and knowledgeable before the big day. Also, make sure you have your San Diego State jersey ready because YOU BETTER BE CHEERING FOR THEM. Just kidding sort of. March Madness is a great time to reunite with friends you haven’t seen in a while at a local bar to enjoy week after week of high-intensity ball playing, so make sure you get in touch using the omnipotent friend-finder called Facebook to be sure you have someone and somewhere to watch the games. Research your local bars’ specials so you can find the cheapest drinks for any given day. Everybody makes fun of me for knowing all the cheap drink specials around town, but who is the first person they invite when they want to do happy hour? OH YEAH, THIS GUY.

3) St. Patrick’s Day

Falling on a Thursday this year, St. Patrick’s Day is just one year away from being on a friggin’ WEEKEND, which we’ve been waiting for for years. Thursday is “the new Friday” though, so this year you can at least go out and rage knowing that you can kinda drag your way through Friday. Once again, San Diego celebrates this day with a block party, so basically the city wants us to destroy the whole of downtown with vomit this month. However, if you don’t have plans yet for St. Patrick’s Day, consider using this weekend to plan your own Saint Patrick’s Day party, complete with Jameson, Bailey’s,  green beer, the soundtrack to Boondock Saints, and like, potatoes or something. That’s what Irish people eat, right? Anyone?