I didn’t realize it was Friday the 13th until Twitter was all abuzz about it, but I’m really glad that I was enlightened because of how important it is to recognize that different days of the month and week occasionally run into each other. Just kidding, I know Friday the 13th is important because some people back in the beginning of time said it was right after they said the Earth was flat and the Sun revolved around it, so it makes sense that we’d keep on celebrating it. Also just kidding, I’m not an intolerant jerk. Just kidding.

So, despite my having absolutely no belief in Friday the 13th legends, I give you BCU’s Weekend To-Dos, STUPID NONSENSICAL JOKE Friday the 13th Edition.

1. Have a Friday the 13th movie marathon

I personally have absolutely no desire to ever watch scary movies. As it is, I already fear spiders, snakes, elevators, sharks, dark basements, dark attics, dark bathrooms, and unattended shoes (because of the spiders), so the last thing I need is to also fear terrifying sadistic serial murderers. But if you’re into that thing, have some friends over (and perhaps some hot single booty) for a scare-athon. To really make things enjoyable, add to it a Friday the 13th drinking game, and you’ll end up too drunk to even be scared. Perfect!

2. Do something risky

Because of all the people that actually subscribe to the idea that certain days can be less lucky than others, risky activities like sky diving and bungee jumping and rollercoaster riding and haunted house visiting will probably be less busy than usual. Who knows, they might have an “unluckiest day of the month” discounted price! How unsafe great does that sound?

3. Ruin someone’s day

A lot of people (the same dummies from #2) will be on edge today, wondering when something unlucky will happen. Seek this person out (their Facebook feed will usually alert you) and play every prank you’ve got on them. Leave them scary voicemails, tell them some horrible news, unleash a black cat in their wake or break a mirror near them.  At the end of the day, right when you think they might lose their mind, tell them it was all about you trying to cure them of their fear of Friday the 13th, and then avoid their punching arms. Take them out for a drink to apologize, and add in one last whammy, perhaps with a perfectly launched trip off a curb. They probably won’t talk to you for a few weeks, but the laughter will make it all worthwhile.

Whether or not you believe that Friday the 13th brings bad luck, you can make today (and this weekend) an exciting adventure of trying to avoid death while convincing other they are about to meet theirs. Have a rager, Weekend Warriors, and see you next week!