Some guy mistook a 9-year-old in a costume for a skunk so obviously he shot her with a shotgun, BECAUSE 2ND AMENDMENT. [Gawker]

Michael Lohan is trying to get a conservatorship over Lindsay. I’m sure that’s going to work. [The Superficial]

Evander Holyfield says he’s unretiring. He’s like the Brett Favre of boxing! [TMZ]

Adele had a baby! But all anyone can talk about is Twitter trolls. #2012 [Daily Mail]

Ever wanted to see naked Kris Jenner? STOP THROWING UP IT’S JUST A QUESTION. [Dlisted]

Lance Armstrong just can’t get a win these days. No, literally. They’re taking away all his titles. [Deadspin]