Kansas City Chiefs linebacker Jovan Belcher shocked the nation by shooting and killing his girlfriend, then going to the stadium and shooting himself in front of his coaches and other team personnel. [Kansas City Star]

Some people won shit-ton of money in the Powerball lottery. I don’t care. I DO think it’s funny that some guy trolled a bunch of idiots, though. [Gawker]

Lilo hired an attorney to battle Gloria Allred and the weird orange thing she allegedly punched in a bar last week. [TMZ]

Kim Kardashian got booed and protested which traveling in Bahrain. Why haven’t we been doing that here? [RadarOnline]

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are officially getting married. I want to see their honeymoon sex. [ Daily Mail]

We might be getting rid of $1 bills soon. Time to start throwing coins at strippers, you say? [The Week]