Because my gagging muscles are making it impossible to speak any words about this story, I’ll let HuffPo take the reigns on this one:

Vivid Entertainment — the company that unleashed sex tapes featuring Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and Pamela Anderson, as well as a professionally filmed porn video with former “Teen Mom” star Farrah Abraham — would like to obtain a video of June “Mama June” Shannon.

TMZ reports that Vivid is willing to shell out a cool $1 million if Shannon and her estranged husband, Sugar Bear Thompson, make a sex tape together.

In a letter to the former “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” star, Vivid CEO Steve Hirsch explained that BBWs (big beautiful women) have become very popular among his company’s audience, and he believes Shannon “would fit into that category.”

While I would agree that Mama June falls into the first “B” and second “W” category, I’m really not so sure that THAT FACE UP THERE is exactly BEAUTIFUL. I guess to each his own, eh?

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s back to hugging the toilet until that image leaves my mind.