ANNNND we’re back. How were things in normal land this weekend? Anything exciting happen? Did you try a really great panini? Or maybe catch the matinee of The Croods? Cool beans, buddy!

The Coachella high is finally starting to wear off this Tuesday and although I wish I could be on vacation forever, it’s time to get back in the game of life. BOO. We figured it would be a good time, after spending 5 days away from home, to get some schoolin’ on the art of hooking up on vacation. Yes, we talked about the finer points of hooking up at Coachella just a week or so ago, but now that it’s over (and as summer creeps slowly closer – hit the gym everyone!), we’re dropping some knowledge on all you singles about out of state (or city, or COUNTRY) booty calls. What ARE the rules, anyway?

1. Make your intentions CLEAR

Whether the hot young thing you meet lives 10,000 miles away from you or happens to live a few blocks away from you, be sure you make perfectly clear that this is a fun, casual, vacation hook up, and you’re expecting nothing more to come from it. Forget this all important rule and your booty call could start asking when you’ll fly out to meet their parents in Fargo.

2. Don’t let it consume your whole trip

Destination booty calls are one of the most awesome parts of travelling as an adult, but they shouldn’t be the ONLY reason you travel. You still have sights to see, adventures to go on, and people to meet (hey, maybe even ANOTHER booty call, hehe). So don’t start cupcaking too hard or you’ll get home from your vacation and realize you didn’t do anything other than snuggle with a stranger.

3. BE SAFE.

Yes, you know where this is going. USE A F***ING CONDOM, YOU GUYS. You don’t know this person, and you DEFINITELY don’t know what diseases they’re harboring. And dudes – no one wants to come home and learn two months later they made a booty call baby. That’s a vacation buzz-kill.

4. What happens on vacation, stays on vacation

This could apply to both rule #1 and #3, but it also has to do with your memories of the trip. Don’t swamp every photo you take during the trip with a random you’ll probably never meet again. Maybe take one pic (so when you’re 80, impotent, and miserable, you can look back fondly on the greatest vacation of your life), and keep the rest booty-call-free. Plus, swamping your Facebook with pics of your vacation fling will probably lessen your chance of finally bagging your neighbor.

5. HAVE FUN!

Vacations are supposed to be, above all, FUN. If at any point hanging out with your new “friend” becomes more of a burden than a pleasure, drop it like a sack of dildos potatoes. Taking too long to get ready, being flaky, annoying, or needy – these are things you can deal with once you’re in a relationship. This is not the time.

Do you have any tips for meeting and hooking up on vacation? Share them in the comments!

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