We’ve come to an age where women will do pretty much anything to retain a youthful face and slim body. Shows like “Real Housewives” and “Cougartown” display 40+ women with complexions that could rival women half their age. However, some of these fads are a bit ridiculous. With the help of Manolith, we bring you the top 5 weirdest health fads.

5.  Botox

Botox, you say? Been there, injected that. What you might not realize, is that Botox is essentially POISON. That’s right, to avoid ever looking like a normal human being who ages, women are injecting poison into everything from their eyebrows to their armpits.

4. Wheatgrass

I don’t know what weird health guru started telling women that blending up someone’s lawn and eating it was “good for you,” but wherever he is, I bet he is laughing hysterically and rolling around in his piles of money.

3. Baby Foreskin

Originally used to help burn victims, of course, some evil, superficial woman said, “GIMME THAT.” Ever since, women have been smearing circumcised baby penis skin all over their faces. Apparently it smells terrible, to the point of vomit inducing, so I guess I feel a little better.

2. Bird Poop Facials

At some trendy spa in New York, right after you get a massage and sit in the sauna, you can pay $150 to let them drench you in Nightingale poop. Yes, you read it correctly: bird crap. Personally, I get angry when a bird poops on my car, let alone all over my face. Hey, if you can get self-centered older women to shell out money for an animal to poop on their face, then by all means. It’s really quite hilarious.

1. Semen

1) Yes, this is real, and 2) Did they really have to use an already semen colored and textured food on the cover? Custard? Really?