Oh, the ’90s. It seems like such a medieval time when sex tapes were considered detrimental to a career. Remember how shocked the world was at the Pamela Anderson/Tommy Lee flick? Nowadays,  sex tapes are the moral equivalent of a speeding ticket, just ask Miss California Carrie Prejean. The beauty queen may be in up to 8 different nudie vids, though the world is still waiting in vain to see them. Here are our top 5 celebrity sex tapes of the decade.

5) Dustin “Screech” Diamond

I add this tape purely as filler. To be honest, this fairly disgusting sex tape was not even a blip on the radar. It was obvious that the Manson-like, bearded Dustin Diamond released this tape because he was feeling overlooked compared to his Saved by the Bell costars, but not even the skeeziest of paparazzi wanted to see this awkward video.

4) Kim Kardashian and Ray J

Imagine what the world would be like if this tape had never been released. E! and VH1 would wonder what to air between the hours of 6 and 10 pm nightly and the covers of US Weekly would be plastered with Jon Gosselin pics. The horror, the horror!

3) Colin Farrell

This sex tape is special because of its diligent determination to stay on the internet despite Colin Farrell’s numerous attempts to take it down. Apparently, he underestimated the power of hackers and 40 year old single women.

2) Verne “Mini Me” Troyer

EW EW EW EW EW EW. EW.

1) Paris Hilton

Yeah, it’s old. True, most of it is in night vision. But this pioneer of heiress sex tapes, cleverly dubbed “One Night in Paris,” was the gold standard by which all sex tapes are held to. And annoying or not, you can not deny the hotness of Paris Hilton. You just can not.

Here’s to another decade of unfortunate celebrity sex tapes!

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