Oh, hoorayyyy! Finally a win for the down-on-his-luck golfer. Although porn star Devon James has recently been making claims that Tiger is the father of her 9-year-old son, a DNA test proved her a liar — a DNA test that was in fact taken 8 years ago, in 2002.

Further research into the matter by your BCU investigators shows that while the young boy looks a bit like Tiger, the woman is a total BUTTER FACE. Like WOW, her face looks like someone put too much eyeshadow on some cat vomit.

Needless to say, the porn star’s own mother called her a “pathological liar” who “knows exactly who the father is.” We assume Tiger is breathing a sigh of relief anyway, though,  since he probably has to look at his Sex Rolodex these days just to remember who he’s slept with. You’re safe this time Tiger!

Full story @ NYDailyNews