Over here on the left coast, many college students are about to get out for summer. Some are graduating which means they’ll be pushed out of the nest and left to fend for themselves in the big scary world. Obviously, the best way to celebrate this newfound independence is to spend this weekend just getting absolutely sh*tty drunk, and San Diego’s club scene is prepared for just that very scenario.

However, my dear young friends, about to put your drinking shoes on and party the weekend away, I want to remind you that although you may feel like it, being drunk does NOT make you immune to gravity. And when your friends try to tell you that maybe you should be careful, pull it back a few notches and maybe get off that rain gutter, they’re probably right, and you’re probably about to eat sh*t, just like they predicted.