There are certain animals that make me very grateful that human sex is pretty normal (unless, you know, youlike it abnormal). Like for example those dolphins that go on murder rampages when they’re in a dry spell. Or  those bugs that bone for almost 3 days straight.  That just sounds painful. However, sometimes you hear about animals and are just straight envious of their sex lives, like Bonobos (who are down with any kind of hookup), or warthogs (who’ve got a woman in every zip code).

Now though, I think we’re the most envious of these Croatian brown bears, who have been passing out unsolicited blow jobs to each other all day err day. Via HuffPo:

Researchers from Poland are reporting that a pair of male brown bears at a zoo in Croatia have been engaging in oral sex–and lots of it. Over the course of 116 hours of recent observation, the animals engaged in fellatio 28 times. That’s about one act of fellatio for every four hours, with each act ranging in duration from 1 minute to 4 minutes.

And it’s not even like they’re asking for it:

All cases appeared to be initiated by the provider, who approached the receiver while he was resting on his side or with part of his abdomen exposed. If the receiver’s genitals were not exposed, the provider would push his head into the pelvic region or use his paws to separate the hind legs. After accessing and initial licking of the penis, the provider would find a more comfortable posture, such as sitting or lying … once actual sucking started, neither bear changed position.

Sure – you may be a straight guy with no plans to bat for the other team any time soon, but even you’ve got to admit that you’d be pretty stoked on someone rolling you over for a bit of no-work-needed knob slobbing EVERY FOUR HOURS.

Although the science behind the marathon oral seshes is less than sexy (researchers believe the two male cubs were weaned too early and enjoy the nursing-like feeling of suckin’ D), we’re envious of these two – who seem to enjoy giving as much as receiving. If only we were all so lucky.