Welcome back, Weekend Warriors, it’s the second weekend of fall, and we’re back to give you the run down on the top 3 things you have to do this weekend. This week: Cheese and Wine edition. Because those are my two favorite things and I write this blog and what I say goes, dummy.

1) Make your own wine

Using the straight-forward and totally idiot-proof instructions from Instructables, you can actually create high-proof, delicious wine (although your first time might end up tasting like a prison bed pan). By tweaking your ingredients are trying different forms of fermentation, you can not only stock your own home with delicious, cheap beverages, but also never have to buy a gift for any occasion ever again*. Nobody can turn down homemade wine because a) it’s “the thought that counts” and b) it’s BOOZE.

** Except baby showers and maybe your niece’s fourth birthday.

2) Host a wine and cheese party for your single friends

We all love a good house party — cheap beer, pizza, someone vomiting on the sidewalk outside your apartment… what’s not to adore? But sometimes it’s also fun to go for quality over quantity — and a wine and cheese night is the perfect way to do this: have each of your friends bring a bottle of their favorite wine (and no, two-buck-Chuck does NOT count) and a tray of their favorite cheeses. My personal favorites are Stilton, Brie, and the exceedingly rare Kraft “EZ CHEEZ”. Don’t even try and find the last one; it’s EXTREMELY out of your price range.

Bonus: the combination of intoxicants in the wine and the phenylethylamine in the cheese mean someone will be getting laid after the party. Guaranteed.

3) Create a Sideways drinking game.

Let’s be honest: no one really liked Sideways. Everyone said they liked it, but no one actually got through those two hours of pretentious bore without thinking “Oh my god, when will it end, Sandra Oh???” at least once. However, for the sake of our weekend, a Sideways drinking game is just the way to throw the movies bland uneventfulness back in its face. Get some cheap merlot (or crappy beer if you really want to stick it to the man) and gear up with this one rule: take a drink anytime one of the main characters does.

See you Monday when your hangover wears off. Happy Weekending!