Sometimes you have to leave it to college newspapers to ask the important, hard-hitting questions. Without funding from potentially biased sources, they can get down on the real issues at hand, like if politicians are actually working in our best interest, or if corporations are secretly stealing of millions of dollars from the American public.

Or if swallowing semen is vegan or not. You know, the significant, polarizing issues.

QUICK. SOMEONE DO RESEARCH. Find a vegan booty call and get the TRUTH.