The BCU (un)Official Wet Lubricant Review
A few weeks ago, if you’ll recall, we at BCU nitpicked a bit at a poll held by Wet Lubricants, a company that called itself the #1 best selling intimacy product company around, which we scoffed at rudely. I don’t know what was wrong with us that day.
Were we in bad moods? Maybe. Hungover? Probably. Either way, we judged too soon, because just a week later, the company shipped us some samples straight away so we could test them ourselves. Quite upstanding gentlefolk, we must say.
However, the samples sat on my desk for a few days as I wondered what the heck I was possibly going to write about LUBE without having to share my own sexual experiences, which, honestly, border on the bizarre. So one day, staring at the little bottles, I noticed that one was “Strawberry Flavored,” and decided that if anything, without disturbing TOO many folk, we could have a little experiment to test if Wet Lubricant’s claim that their Strawberry Flavored lube was in fact “DELICIOUS” could be confirmed.
SCIENCE (S)EXPERIMENTING TIME!
This is WET’s Strawberry Flavored Lubricant. It claims to be Hypoallergenic, long lasting, clean and non-staining, as well as sugar-free and DELICIOUS. It is the last claim that I feel needs testing.
So obviously the next step would be to mix it with something that would normally taste good with strawberries. Like say, something that looks like it came off the floor of a hamster cage BLUEBERRY GRANOLA AND FLAXSEED CEREAL!
A little more…
PERFECT. Like they say: LUBE: part of a balanced breakfast. Or something.
Alright, here goes.
Also, hi, I’m BCU Girl. Nice to meet you when my face looks like it was smashed in with a manhole cover.
THERE IT IS. One bite to trump all other bites. At this point, I am nervous. What if the lubey granola mixture activates my gag reflex and I vomit all over my desk? Everyone is at lunch! HOW COULD I POSSIBLY EXPLAIN THAT?
Okay, not… horrible. I definitely taste the strawberry. Good work, Wet Lubricant flavor hunter, whoever you are. The texture is, obviously, not to be desired, but it’s like when my dad used to have to hide my cough medicine in juice. You can still taste it, but it’s not like someone pooped in your mouth.
I practiced many faces for this “success!” photo that would imply that Wet Lubricant’s Strawberry flavored lube was pretty much a smashing success. However the “open mouth look it’s all gone” face was just lookin’ REAL porny. So, thumbs up it is. Thumbs up to Wet Lubricants for making a strawberry flavored lube that was basically reminiscent of a strawberry Jolly Rancher melted down to a liquid.
****
BUT WAIT, I WAS NOT DONE. Time to get a second opinion.
Oh heyy there buddy, whatcha thinkin’ bout? Tasting some lube, maybe? Yes. That’s what I thought.
As you can see, subject #2 was not so pleased to be tasting the lube. I don’t really understand why not, but it took a bit of convincing before he would finally volunteer.
Take note that I am getting extreme pleasure out of this. So… good work again, Wet Lubes! Good job!
He loved it. I mean, obviously. Look:
Loved it.
***
Okay, one last test subject.
Hello, Dr. Leopold St. Cuddlestein. We meet again.
Try the delicious lubed up dry cereal, Dr. Cuddlestein. It’s good for leopards cheetahs ligers whatever the f*** kind of animal you are.
And look, Dr. Cuddlestein loved it so much he’s winking at us! Thanks for your help Leo!
***
Now to the serious business. That lube actually didn’t taste like ass, which is more than we can say for 99.9% of lubes out there, so Wet Lubricants gets our vote for the best flavored lube we’ve tried so far. To try it, go here and order it today.
And if you’re a part of a sex toy company who would like our expert staff of lab rats to try out and review YOUR awesome product, contact us and we’d be GLAD to give you the BCU BEDROOM BOOST.
Lesbian KY Commercial is Finally Here | Booty Call U
September 6, 2011 @ 12:31 pm
[…] seen many great sex product commercials. From our very own review of Wet Lubricants, to Durex’s infallible marketing team, we’re fully aware that the best ads are subtle, […]
Marcus
February 10, 2011 @ 4:42 pm
MMMMM LUBE. not
Punk Rebel Mama
February 9, 2011 @ 9:55 pm
I’m interested in your thoughts on our products actually, please contact us, since I can’t see your contact info.