So, as it turns out, becoming an Olympian has more perks than just becoming famous, idolized, and athletically superior to 99% of the world. It also means you get to take part in the world’s craziest adrenaline-fueled orgy. But never fear… if you’re like me and your most agile move is bolting for the remote when Two and a Half Men comes on, there is still a place you can go where you can meet like-minded singles who are down to have fun and hook up, without ever learning how to throw a javelin: OnlineBootyCall.

This week, we have five new testiMOANials, from ex-members who prove that you don’t need traditional dating sites like Match and eHarmony to find a satisfying, enjoyable relationship. Just remember, just because you might be getting laid like an Olympian, doesn’t mean you can eat like one. Go ride a bike somewhere, fatty.
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“I met a really great guy, who shares the same interests as I do, and look forward to getting to know him even more! :)” Female, 28, Tallahassee, FL

“I found someone wonderful whom I’ve been dating for five years!” Male, 43, Laurel, MD

“Met someone that I have been dating for past two years so I no longer need the site!” Female, 36, Villa Rica, GA

“I have met a few guys on this site but the last one was different and special. I love this site… due to my busy schedule I can’t go out and date, and each time I had success. Thanks OBC!” Female, 29, Brooklyn, MD

“He was one of the first invitations I received, we met for coffee and it was a match!” Female, 44, Chandler, AZ