Best News Headline FAIL Ever
Someone’s getting fired today.
weird news
Fan Tried To Kill A-Rod To Woo Cameron Diaz
I’ve been looking to find something, ANYTHING, about the ALCS playoff games that is even vaguely interesting to write about, but unfortunately, the fact of the matter is that un til the World Series, baseball is just straight bo-ring. Until today, that is, when like a gift from the heavens I received word that some […]
Idiot Museum Robber in Chewbacca Suit Gets Caught
According to an Oregon news center, a man in a military ‘ghillie’ suit who planned on robbing a Hillsboro museum was caught yesterday when he was bitten by an officer’s dog while hiding in a wooded area nearby. Officers say they were responding to the tripped alarm at the museum, and as they searched for […]
T.I.: Your Celebrity Hero Of the Day?
Don’t worry, you didn’t take too many Gummi vitamins this morning – it’s true: rapper T.I. (the same one who was released from a 7 month incarceration only to be arrested within a month for possession of ecstasy and codeine) is apparently now a LIFE-SAVING HERO. According to reports, when the rapper heard that a […]
Rescued Chilean Miner Greets Mistress First
Reason #8,720 to not get married: it doesn’t matter many hours you spend in a nightly prayer circle asking God to save your beloved coal miner husband whose been stuck a million feet underground for over two months because you love him with all your heart, if you ain’t passing out enough BJs he’s totally […]
Apparently Women are Dumber than Men.
OkCupid has a great blog that consistently creates engaging statistic-based posts, analyzing online dating trends and profile performance, as well as sharing general info about the current state of the masses (i.e. their user base). The statistics are usually funny, interesting, and sometimes shocking. This one, on the other hand, is just embarrassing. According to […]
Thousands of Condoms Clog Games Village Drains
The Commonwealth Games, in New Delhi, India, are the puny step-brother of the Olympics (because America isn’t involved) held every four years in one of the member states of the Commonwealth of Nations. I scoffed at them all week, hearing news that the conditions were terrible, the heat was intolerable, and the drama surrounding the […]
Owner of Segways Drives Segway Off Cliff
this photo is completely classless and inappropriate. and also hilarious. Jimi Heselden, millionaire owner of the Segway company, died yesterday when he drove one of his motorized scooters off a cliff into a river. I don’t think there is much more to say about that, except that I hope the scooters in heaven have […]
Middle America is Most Sexually Satisfied? WHAT?
Surprise, surprise. While you might think that big cities full of beautiful people would be having the most sex, that’s not the case! In a recent survey by Men’s Health, the cities where men reported being the most sexually satisfied (having enough sex) were all located pretty much in middle America. The top 5 were […]
French People Have Awful Sex Lives
Apparently, this is all Eiffel Tower propaganda. Well now I’m just confused. My idea of France was always that it was a country full of smelly hairy people who drank a ton of red wine and then boned in the streets on piles of croissants, but NEWS FLASH: apparently that’s not the case. According to […]