No, not that kind of green condom. This one is slightly less terrible. Anyway, let’s back it up.

Happy Monday! Did you watch the Oscars last night? I did, although it was an incredibly painful, awkward sh*tshow of Samsung advertisements and uncomfortable jokes. I TRIED to find SOMETHING worth posting, a video or a picture or ANYTHING, but beside the selfie that broke Twitter, nothing funny or exciting happened. Well, okay, John Travolta suffering from dyslexia on stage was pretty funny, but that’s about it.

So instead, here’s some pretty blah news: according to Jezebel, a company called Sustain has come up with a new line of condoms for the thousands of women no one asking for a more “green condom.”

Condoms may have macho names like Trojan and Magnum, but some women are now taking the reins, hoping to appeal to women by making more environmentally friendly condoms that purport to serve the greater good.

Although we’re a-ok with trying to save the Earth, we have a hard time believing that that many people have been thinking “oh man, I’d love to use this condom if only it was less detrimental to the environment!” It’s more like “I’d love to use this condom if it didn’t feel like I was having sex with a Safeway bag!”

Sustain condoms are made of “non-toxic latex that has been produced on a fair-trade/fair-wage rubber plantation in India,” which is nice enough. If they still feel like a balloon animal on your junk, though, I don’t picture them getting the momentum they’d want.

What do you think? Would you be more likely to use a condom if it was sustainable? Let us know in the comments!