This week, walking cotton candy machine Donald Trump started spouting that he “HAD SOMETHING REALLY BIG” to reveal about Barack Obama. Something “HUGE” that could potentially change the outcome of the election. Something that Fox News would “cover in big fashion.”

You know what, I don’t need to describe this any further… I think Stephen can take it from here:

All I’m saying is, I GOT 5 ON IT. (no really, 5 dollars. Nothing more. I ain’t rich.)