God, that was depressing, wasn’t it? Nothing ruins a nice morning trip-fest like a strikingly honest and miserable look at the state of American relationships, that’s what I always say. Emma Koenig (the sister of Vampire Weekend’s frontman Ezra Koenig, according to Gawker), and her (oh my god so handsome) co-star walk us through the average first date and following months of many of our failed relationships.

The video makes a case for stickin’ to booty calls, huh? Instead of the wishy-washiness and awkwardness of first dates (and a few dates after that, let’s be honest) you can instead enjoy all the benefits and none of the responsibility, and if you fall for each other (like so many of these people) it’s just a bonus!

Except that breaking condom thing. That will always suck.