red = most sad, green = happiest
Last week, we came across an interesting infographic on BuzzFeed that talked about America’s “Sadness Belt,” the region of the country where a survey showed people were more emotionally unhealthy, or more specifically, were less likely “learning or doing something interesting” or “being treated with respect” and more likely to feel angry or stressed. Worse, “they’re even less likely to smile.”

As residents of California, we’re apparently not the HAPPIEST (as you can see, the happiest folks are in states like Colorado, Montana, and Minnesota), but we’re definitely up there compared the sad peeps in the South and the Midwest.

It was noted later to Buzzfeed by a researcher that much of this sadness could be related to the physical health of the population in these states, as they reported that they didn’t often exercise and had difficulty accessing fruits and vegetables. We at OBC, though, have a different hypothesis – THESE PEOPLE NEED SOME BOOTY!

What lead us to this conclusion? Well, many of the states that report being the saddest also happen to be the states where either no sex ed is required or abstinence-only education is the norm, meaning many high schools are teaching students that refraining from sex until you are married is the only smart choice (or are ignoring the subject all together). Of course there are exceptions to the rule (Colorado is all over the place, those hippies), but there seems to be overwhelming evidence that in states where sex is made out to be a scary, immoral activity until marriage, people are generally sadder. Makes sense to us, I mean, a world with no sex? MORE LIKE HELL ON EARTH.

Compare that to this list of states who have rejected abstinence-only sex-ed, and you’ll see a pattern – many of those states are the happiest ones on the map! This ALSO makes sense to us, since we’ve learned that sex is great for the mind AND body.

Here’s a shout out to all of you guys livin’ in the Sadness belt, who are probably feeling fat and super sexually frustrated: GET OUT THERE AND GET SOME! It’ll improve your mood, burn some calories, keep you warm, and heal your migraines.

Just be sure to read up on our safe sex articles, since apparently your government doesn’t care if you get super gonorrhea.