Morning, buds! How are you all feeling on this bright and shiny Monday morning? Delightful? Ready to start the week? Kind of bummed that you opted to watch a Designing Women marathon on Saturday night instead of go out with your friends? It’s okay, you have another week to try again. And another one after that, and another, forever and ever until you die. So that’s good news, right?!

Let’s start today with the only good sketch from Saturday Night Live this week (yeah, I skipped going out to watch that drowning ship), which pokes fun at the thousands of tech geeks complaining that their new iPhone 5s are just plain awful. As a person who just yesterday moaned about the fact that Apple maps don’t have mass transit options available, I can sympathize. You SUCK, amazing paper-thin phone with endless possibilities that were unthinkable even 10 years ago! YOU SUCK!

Okay okay fine, this one is pretty good too: