Is your internal clock ticking? Feeling the need to procreate and enjoy the wonder of making a baby? This is a disease that is currently making a Bubonic plague-like rampage across America, a fact I’ve deduced due my Facebook friends list thumbnails being about 40% baby photos.  Don’t worry, though, there are many antibiotics for this bacterial outbreak, from birth control to condoms to abstinence (just kidding, that’s awful).

However, if you really want to stem the flow of paternal instinct pouring from your hormones, all you need to do is check out this site: Sh*tMyKidsRuined.com. Overflowing with child-induced disasters like destroyed furniture, broken china, and something called “mustard butt”… it’s enough to turn you off to the idea of kids for another, eh… 10 years?