In “Even Memorial Day Weekend Can Be a Death Trap” news, Sean Kingston (best known for his hit song “Beautiful Girls”) was nearly killed in a an accident this weekend while riding a jet ski with a 23-year-old woman. Based on reports, it seems as though Sean accidentally rode his jet ski into the Palm Ave bridge in Miami, FL.  Although his companion was uninjured, Sean Kingston’s injuries are so severe that some blogs preemptively reported him dead. That is not the official report, however according to the member of the Coast Guard who saved his life, Kingston was vomiting and spitting up blood at the time of rescue, which is not a good sign.

This is most certainly a horrifying story, and our thoughts are with the singer, who is in critical condition. However, we must take note that although Kingston’s lady companion was uninjured, the Coast Guard officer claimed she complained that her “head hurt.” I can’t help but picture that this is a hopeful “video vixen” who was hoping to make it big by boning down with a celebrity and thought, “heyyyyy, this might be even easier!”

Yes, I am evil.

We’ll keep you updated as the updates continue.