On a more somber note, after the delight that was our Harlem Shake morning, we bring you a story about Vladimir Zhirinovsky, a Russian politician who wants to better the life expectancy of his people by banning smoking in public places, alcohol for all politicians, and limiting sex for everyone. Let’s let this nutzo explain it himself:

“We need a different formula,” he said. “Smoking is to be banned everywhere but in your own car if you close all the windows and stay there alone as well as in your own apartment if there is nobody else there. Shut all the windows and get yourself poisoned.”
“We need eating restrictions. Our people are overfed and too fat. Sex should also be restricted to one time per quarter through issuing licenses, quotas or coupons,” Zhirinovsky added. “People have too much sex, they eat, smoke and drink too much and die 20 years earlier. Everywhere – in Europe, America or Japan – they live longer. Why should we perish?”

I actually kind of love his idea for smokers – not because I believe in impeding on peoples’ personal freedoms, but because having to smoke in a completely enclosed car would probably actually help smokers quit. But restricting sex to FOUR TIMES A YEAR?! Even 4 times a WEEK seems a little skimpy. Although it makes sense that Zhirinovsky would be A-OK having sex once every three months, because he looks like this:

(Although it should be noted that the photo above is from an article claiming that women find him to be sexiest politician. Russian women – you are weird.)

Needless to say, we are ANTI-Zhirinovsky, especially since we know sexin’ is GOOD for your health. Someone needs to teach that old grumbly Russian fatso a lesson.

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