Reason #8,720 to not get married: it doesn’t matter many hours you spend in a nightly prayer circle asking God to save your beloved coal miner husband whose been stuck a million feet underground for over two months because you love him with all your heart,  if you ain’t passing out enough BJs he’s totally gonna greet his mistress before you.

That’s right, the incredible feat of saving the 33 Chilean coal miners stuck underground for 69 days was not without its share of drama- miner Yonni Barrios apparently requested that both his wife and his mistress be present when he was lifted from the escape tunnel. Of course, his wife, Marta, said ummmm, hell no, and the reunion video taped by news outlets from around the world ended up being with his mistress, although many sources decided to leave that little detail out.

This notice has been brought to you by your local Anti-Marriage Coalition at Booty Call University.