As a kid, I admit I had what some might call an “sick obsession with” but I call an “affinity for” Kentucky Fried Chicken. Back in the day the place delivered in my area, so many nights when my parents went out and left me with cash for dinner I’d immediately hit up the KFChizzle and order a bucket of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and biscuits (sometimes mac and cheese for my younger brothers, but ew). As you might imagine, I was a little, erm, “pudgy.”

Since about high school, though, I haven’t even touched a piece of chicken from KFC. Despite knowing it was a huge urban legend, the story that they bred “headless chickens” stuck with me, and although I occasionally miss the sweet smooth deliciousness of their fake-as-hell mashed potatoes, I have not, and will not, ever go to KFC again.

And in case you need a little nudge in the direction of #teamANTI-KFC, here’s a picture of something 19-year-old Ibrahim Langoo found in his bucket of KFC this week:

MMMM-MMMM, huh?! Nothing whets my appetite like sinking my teeth into the mushy brain of a mutant chicken! According to GlobalPost, KFC responded to the disgusting allegation and completely denied that it was a goddamn disgusting chicken brain:

“Although we haven’t received the product, it appears from a photograph that unfortunately on this occasion a kidney, and not a brain as claimed, was not removed in the preparation process,” the company said in a statement to The Sun. “We’re very sorry about Mr Langoo’s experience and while there was no health risk, we agree it was unsightly.””

SEE, IDIOT, IT WAS JUST THE CHICKEN’S KIDNEY, SO CALM DOWN.

If you have left the dark side and joined the ranks of people who’d rather not chomp down on chicken organs any time soon, but can’t help crave the flavors of the Colonel, here are some recipes to replicate your favorite KFC meals, except minus the nastiness.

Excuse me while I throw up my Raisin Bran.