Poor, poor local newscasters. They work so hard to get where they are, struggling through school and tests and starting at the bottom of the totem pole, just for the opportunity to SOMEDAY, just maybe, ONE DAY, have a hostage situation at a bank in their town.

And all the have to do is make one tiny slip, one awkward sexual gesture, one Freudian slip, and BAM, they’re all over YouTube, getting remixed and forever documented as that weather guy who had a gigantic penis next to his head. It’s such a precarious life of putting on a happy face and walking the tightrope of live television.

Except this girl, this girl just sucks. Someone should give her a teleprompter, a hair dresser, and a “how to read the news” lesson. And he should totally do it for free. You know, pro-boner. Hehehehehe.