Did your vajay or peen just clench up in terror reading that headline? Mine did typing it. Let’s read it again: According to a new report by BBC Health Check, PENISES CAN IN FACT GET STUCK IN VAGINAS, though a horrible condition called Penis Captivus.

From BBC Health Check, via io9:

Dr. John Dean, Clinical Director of Gender and Sexual Medicine for Devon Partnership NHS Trust in southwest England, describes the physiological mechanism by which penis captivus can “certainly happen” in an interview with the BBC:

“What… is likely to happen is that when the penis is within the vagina it becomes increasingly engorged. The muscles of the woman’s pelvic floor contract rhythmically at orgasm… While those muscles contract, the penis becomes stuck and further engorged within [the vagina] until the muscles relax, blood can flow out… the penis… the penis starts to go down after orgasm and the man can withdraw. And whilst – I think the fascination is with the prospect of a couple struggling to separate themselves for many minutes, what actually happens is that they may find themselves in difficulty disengaging for maybe a few seconds – five seconds, ten seconds, and if you’re in that situation that probably seems like an eternity rather than just five or ten seconds. Certainly I have heard this in my own practice, where it happens just for a few seconds.”

I admit, I’d never really wondered whether this horrible phenomenon was a real thing, but maybe I should have – I’ve definitely seen it happen to dogs. But now? NOW? COME ON! I don’t care if this doctor says it’s only “a few seconds,” what if it WAS for HOURS? We’ve all had those stellar hook up experiences where we really “don’t want it to end,” but what if you ACTUALLY got stuck together by your junk, and had to figure out a way to get yourselves unstuck, in some X-rated version of that Family Guy episode?? HORRIBLE!

If you accidentally got stuck inside (or around) your partner… what would you do? (Let’s assume you don’t have a phone nearby) Let us know in the comments!

Image via Cloudinary