You’re looking for a booty call on TWITTER, PACMAN JONES? TWITTER?!?!?!? You do realize that just clicks away there is a website dedicated to finding you the hottest singles in the nation, all looking for fun times without the commitment, down to party and hookup, and you can communicate with privacy instead of on the world’s most public social networking site, right?!! The NFL lockout is over, dude – you don’t need to be slumming on the street corners of Twitter!

And to those ladies who so classily offered themselves up to the football star, who has previously been accused of hitting strippers and BITING BOUNCERS AT CLUBS – come on, ladies. You’re making the rest of us look bad.