(zombie eyes and blood added for effect)
As I know from watching way too many episodes of Law and Order as a kid, there is something called “copycat crimes,” where enterprising criminals copy the manner and style of high profile crimes, for either fame, or to keep the blame off themselves (thanks, Detective Mike Logan). However, when it comes to this wave of people getting high on bath salts and GODDAMN EATING EACH OTHER, I don’t know if it’s so much a “copycat” crime or just an EPIDEMIC OF CANNIBALISTIC MEN ON THE LOOSE IN FLORIDA.

According to the Huffington Post, another man has reportedly bitten off a chunk of an acquaintance’s body. Following the Miami cannibal Rudy Eugene, and another case in a Miami Hospital, Charles Baker has completed the trifecta of zombie crimes in Florida by breaking into his girlfriend’s house in a drug-fueled rage, biting off a piece of a man’s arm and eating it, and then withstanding several taser volts before finally being subdued and arrested by cops. The creepiest part of the story, to me, is this image:

“Baker was allegedly going wild, tensing his body and screaming at police, ABC News reported. An officer deployed a Taser on Baker and he fell, but got back up and pulled out the probes.”

Eeeeeeeek, isn’t that a terrifying mental picture? Just a crazed dude, standing menacingly, with blood and skin on his teeth, getting tazed, and then simply pulling out the probes like it ain’t no thang? WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE WORLD FLORIDA, YOU GUYS?