Hey Bengals, can we sit down real quick and discuss the current state of your two star players? Yes, I mean Terrell Owens and the other one whose legal name I refuse to say out loud. Can we just get together and maybe have a little talk about their egos?

Look: I know they are immensely talented athletes with more skill and agility than most people can even dream of, but they are already getting paid like, 75 times that of the average American teacher’s salary. But apparently that’s not enough because they both got reality shows? Alright, fine, but did you really have to also give them their own cereals? Yes? OKAY, FINE, but if you’re going to give them their own cereals could you at least make sure the phone number given on the back doesn’t send callers to a creepy sex line instead of the Feed the Children charity it’s supposed to go to?

No?

Really?!?!?

Well. Good to know.