Poor Ochocinco just can’t catch a break. Oh wait, no – I said that wrong – Ochocinco just can’t STOP MAKING TERRIBLE DECISIONS. First he headbutted his wife, then he tattooed her face on his leg and refused to divorce her, and oh yeah, let’s not forget the sex tape he made with a stripper a few years ago.

His legal woes could have come to end yesterday when his lawyer was able to strike a deal with the courts to drop some minor charges, when Ocho decided a great celebratory move would be to slap his (male) lawyer on the boo-tay. Although the courtroom audience burst into laughter, the judge didn’t find it as funny, saying,

“I just don’t know that you’re taking this whole thing seriously,” Broward County Circuit Judge Kathleen McHughv told the former football star. “I just saw you slap your attorney on the backside. Is there something funny about this?”

Mr. Johnson immediately saw the big ol’ mistakey-poo he made and backpedalled, apologizing profusely and saying his life was “in shambles.” Her honor didn’t accept the apology, though, and recommended him to the custody of the Broward County Sheriff’s office. Ocho is now serving 30 days in jail. Woopsie.

Check out the video below: