This one should go in the record books for MOST obvious news in the HISTORY of Obviously Obvious News:

According to a GROUNDBREAKING report by the New York Daily News, the more attractive a female is, the less likely she is to have to pay on a date! NO WAY. I AM IN SHOCK. MY EYEBALLS MIGHT FALL OUT OF MY HEAD. A study by the researchers at St. Andrews University was performed to find out the two gender’s willingness to pay by setting up couples on hypothetical dates and then asking them how they would like to take care of the bill. While half of both men and women requested the bill be split in half, the other findings were much more revealing of the study were far more revealing.

When the researchers added to the experiment a question about how attractive the participants found their dates, things started to look a whole lot less fair. Women preferred that the more attractive men paid for their dates than less attractive men, likely because they didn’t want to give the less attractive men a false impression of interest. And as for men (OBVIOUS ALERT HERE), they were much more likely to “invest resources” in a woman that he found very attractive.

So I guess what I can infer from this is that last date I went on where the guy left to “go to the bathroom” and then bailed on me (and the check), it was probably because that hairstyle was NOT working for me*. Good to know. Thanks to Obviously Obvious News for this alarming new knowledge.

(* just kidding, that would never happen. My hair is perfect.)