Let’s be honest: we’re all guilty of craving Denny’s sometimes. Sure, their “meals” are about the caloric equivalency of a normal person’s breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, AND dessert, but goddamnit if a Grand Slam doesn’t sound DELICIOUS every once in a while.

And remember when they came up with the Fried Cheese Sandwich, a meal that said “SCREW YOU” to normal cholesterol levels and “BRING IT ON” to obesity-related death? I once had a bite of one of those. It was f***ing crazy delicious.

However, I’m not so sure about Denny’s new venture: Hobbit themed meals, in celebration of the upcoming Peter Jackson movie-adaptation of the book.

Menu items include 11 breakfast, lunch and dinner items such as “Hobbit Hole Breakfast,” “Frodo’s Pot Roast Skillet,” “Gandalf’s Gobble Melt” and the “Build Your Own Hobbit Slam,” which includes limited-time items such as “Shire Sausage.

I’m not really one to judge movie-themed-treat-consumption, because God knows I went out and bought up Jelly Belly’s entire stock of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans to eat while watching all the Harry Potter movies in order from my bedroom and waiting for my owl from Hogwarts. It just seems like, of all the movies to base foods off of, maybe don’t pick the one where all the characters look like something my cat spit up. I mean, EVEN THE FONT OF THE TITLE looks like of like shriveled up Pomeranian poops. Nothing about the Hobbit says, “MMM, APPETIZING!”

Now, a movie whose food I’d be down with? Wreck-It Ralph. 8-bit video game-themed grub? I’d be all over that.