I recently flew home from San Francisco on a completely booked flight at 6 in the morning. I had been up partying till about an hour before my flight left, so you can guess that boarding a cold, dark airplane with a hundred other people I didn’t know at dawn was NOT pleasant.

Needless to say I got squeezed in a middle seat between a teenage boy and a morbidly obese bearded gentleman who smelled like he hadn’t showered since Woodstock. Sitting between them, hungover with my headphones on was unpleasant enough, but luckily my flight was a mere hour long, they were sleeping, and I had headphones.

Now imagine instead that that same flight was four hours long, and not only were they awake, BUT THEY WERE WATCHING PORN. Unheard of, you say? Impossible, you think? NOPE. According to Gawker, airline company Ryanair is planning to offer pornography alongside other entertainment options via a Ryanair app on their iPads or phones. CEO Michael O’Leary’s explanation for this UNBELIEVABLY HORRIBLE IDEA?

“Hotels around the world have it, so why wouldn’t we?”

UM, WELL, LET ME GIVE YOU SOME REASONS:

1. Walls
2. Rooms
3. Doors
4. Locks

IS THAT ENOUGH FOR YOU, WEIRDO?