Before the day is up, we’re going to share a weekend dating advice column for the holiday three-day, but first we thought we’d find something to wake you up on this lovely, leisurely, hot-as-balls Friday.

According to MediaTakeOut, some lady decided to superglue the lips of her lady-parts together, and then uploaded a pic of said decision to Instagram. On the off chance that you’re having breakfast (or are on the east coast enjoying lunch), we decided to spare you the grizzly photo until you were completely ready. Instead, we will direct your attention over to MediaTakeOut, where they had no problem posting one of the most life-altering photos I have ever seen. Prepare yourself, it’s a doozy.

Ladies, if you’re trying to stay chaste, just get yourself a toy from Babeland and lock yourself in your room. DO NOT RESORT TO THESE MEASURES. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

(Did any other chicks out there instinctively kegel in shock at the photo?!)