Surprise, surprise. While you might think that big cities full of beautiful people would be having the most sex, that’s not the case! In a recent survey by Men’s Health, the cities where men reported being the most sexually satisfied (having enough sex) were all located pretty much in middle America. The top 5 were as follows:

1. Indianapolis, IN
2. Columbus, OH
3. Fort Wayne, IN
4. Cincinnati, OH
5. Salt Lake City, UT

Two in Indiana and two in Ohio? OHIO? I don’t even know anything that’s in Ohio except for like, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Maybe? But apparently, something in the water there is making couples and flings have more sex than the rest of us. And which poor saps in the country aren’t having nearly enough sex?

1. Jacksonville, FL
2. Greensboro, NC
3. Jersey City, NJ
4. Providence, RI
5. Newark, NJ

Perhaps we could set up some sort of Pen Pal system between the best and the worst cities with tips on how to get laid. Like,

Dear New Jersey,

Stop being New Jersey, then maybe you’d get laid.

Love, Indiana

Just kidding, New Jersey, we love you!