I am a paranoid person. Well, not so much paranoid but terrified of everything. If this happened to me in the middle of my personal Mecca (Super Target [they just put one in my town, HAVE YOU SEEN THEM? OMG.]), I would probably lose my mind, hole up in my room with the doors locked and the shades drawn, and shake in silence while I waited for some secret society to show up and take me to their torture lair.

Until then, I can laugh at these people, because their reactions are PRICELESS.