I’m always confused by celebrity “feuds.” I mean I’m pretty sure a large majority of them are fabricated by the E! Network and their parent company Fat Women With Low Self-Esteem Inc or whatever, but when people publicly come out to assert that they despise each other, I never understand why. Why can’t they all just shake hands and enjoy the fact that they have more money than they rightfully should instead of making passive-aggressive comments in magazine interviews?

And don’t even get me started on that thing up there. Aside from that being quite possibly the worst photoshop job mine eyes hath ever laid eyes on, it seems just a touch violent, don’t you think?