Larry Flynt: he’s like the sadder version of Hugh Hefner. Not quite as attractive, not quite as well liked, not quite as many gorgeous woman surrounding him 24/7… (although according to CelebrityNetWorth, Flynt is worth notably more. Whodathunk.) And while Hef claims to use Viagra to keep his 86-year-old junk in working order, Mr. Flynt is opening up about his use of a much more technical device: a penile implant that lets him do the dirty despite being paralyzed from the waist down (from a 1978 murder attempt).

“Lots of men have them. There’s a little reservoir in the bottom part of your stomach, and you trigger it with a button inside your testicles that doesn’t show. Nothing shows,” he told The Hollywood Reporter.

LOTS OF MEN HAVE THEM. NOTHING SHOWS, OKAY? Sounds a little self-conscious for one of the cockiest men on the planet, don’t you think?

Flynt, who has been married to his third wife since 1998, has a pretty open view on sex (which is expected for a guy whose magazine is like a freakier, grosser Playboy). He claims his first sexual experience was with a chicken, describes his marriage as “open,” and says the “love of his life” was his bisexual wife Althea, who died of AIDS in 1987.

Whatever, though. I suppose anything is better than those self-performed penile implants we heard about earlier this month. Those things are still giving me nightmares.