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The few times I have seen Keeping Up With the Kardashians, I was struck not only by how self-centered and selfish the daughters were, but also by how weirdly obsessed their mother, Kris Jenner, was with their lives. I know she is a “momager,” and it’s actually her job to be almost creepily involved with their every moves, but going out to nightclubs with them with them all the time and acting like she’s 25 is pretty obnoxious.

Little did I know she could pull a move that would make her 10x more obnoxious and at least 10,000,000 times more creepy: she could be the face of lube. According to The Superficial, Kris Jenner has signed on as the new spokeswoman for Zestra Essential Arousal Oils, “which claims to enhance a woman’s sexual pleasure by heightening sensitivity to touch.” Via the source:

“She’s tried it and uses it. She wants to promote great sex,” a source tells Life & Style about Kris, who has been married to Bruce since 1991. “Zestra is an over-the-counter product clinically proven to enhance a woman’s sexual pleasure.”

Let that sit for a minute. Yep. There it is. Feel that? That wave of nausea? It’s probably because you’re subconsciously imagining Kris and Bruce Jenner mashing their overly-silicone bodies together, with Bruce’s frozen face hardly budging and Kris constantly yelling “oh GOD I HOPE THE PAPARAZZI DON’T ACCIDENTALLY SHOW UP AT THE SCHEDULED TIME THAT I INVITED THEM!”

I’m sorry to do this to you this early in the morning, but if I have to see it, so do you. That’s how it goes. Have a lovely day picturing Kris mid-orgasm.